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The Eternal Optimism of the Competitive Runner

I bombed a race this past weekend. The Mill Race Half Marathon, to be specific. I ran 1:08:17 and finished a fading third.

I came into the race with high expectations. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about going to the well in workouts, specifically citing my 4-3-2 mile intervals run at 5:00 pace. Based on that effort, I knew I was ready to challenge the Olympic Trials standard of sub-1:05 -- and the plan was to go for it at the Mill Race last weekend.

I had all my splits planned for the race: 5k at 15:25, 10k at 30:50, 15k at 46:15, 10 mile @ 49:35, even 12 mile at 59:30. Given past years' competition, I knew there would be some fast Africans, so the strategy was to tuck into the pack and stay as comfortable as possible, looking for the splits to stay on target. If I was on pace and feeling good at 10k, then I'd go for; if I was off pace or struggling, then I'd back off and save it for another day.

So when we went through 10k at 31:15 and I was already hurting, I knew the latter plan was going into effect. Put pride aside and just cruise it in to the finish; don't kill yourself chasing a bad time, instead live to race another day.

And I did slow down, but unfortunately I was working way harder than I really want to admit. I was supposed to be relaxing to the finish; instead, I was riding the struggle bus. Then, seeing my finish time of 1:08+? That's the slowest I'd raced a half in two years. Even backing off I thought I'd still come through in 1:06-07, not over 1:08.

I mean, how am I supposed to run under 1:05 in six weeks when I couldn't even run three minutes slower this weekend?! Numbers never lie, you know?

And there's the doubt. Everyone who runs competitively has had that creep in at some point. It can be disappointing and discouraging. But to be successful, you can't entertain that doubt. Despite all the seeming evidence to the contrary, despite your very race results telling you just how slow you are, you have to believe -- you have to know -- the exact opposite.

Screw my 1:08:17. I know I'm in sub-1:05 shape. I've done the workouts; I've put in the miles. I'm there. Deep down, fundamentally, I know that. All it takes is one good day for everything to come together. On any given race day, I know I'm fully capable of dropping under 1:05. Next time out...that's the day to do it.

Believing you are better than your times say you are? That's the eternal optimism of the competitive runner.

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